I hate you

And I want to hate you.

I want my heart not to go wild upon the hearing of your name.

I don’t want to feel the burn of every unnoticed touch you give me.

I want to look in your eyes for long, stretching moments without the tension in my lung struggling, struggling for the scent of your love.

I want not to feel your presence like blue flame that bright and that cold…

But I also want to be the presence in your thoughts late at night and every morning.

I want my fingers in the perfect void between yours.

I want the warmth of of your breath in my ear… I want you so bad sometimes I feel like hating you...